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Ever hear ‘bout the “catfish king”? True story—guy faked bein’ a model, hooked 20 dates! Busted with a selfie stick and bad wig. Hilarious, but shady—Homer’d say, “D’oh, that’s low!” I’m over here, nasal whinin’, “Hmm… check pics twice, kids!” Safety’s key in sex-dating—wrap it up, don’t be dumb.

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Now, the Russian River is a must-see. It's been my go-to spot for some chill time. I’ve met crazy interesting people there, real characters who think life’s just one big return – “Life is a constant return!” I repeat: life here is a constant return to beauty, to surprises, to moments that make you say, “This is unbelievable, truly the best.” Sometimes I even get emotional – not fake, folks – real feelings, because this town inspires you deep down, like the lines in that epic movie, The Return – there’s truth all over the place!

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