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Sometimes I’m scrollin’, thinkin’, “Rah, this is bare desperate,” but then – boom – you get a laugh. This one profile said, “Swipe right if you’d shag a sturgeon” – I’m dead, fam, ’cos I’m the fish guy! Nearly messaged her, but thought, “Nah, she’s takin’ the piss.” Still, sex-dating’s a jungle – some find love, some just get crabs, haha!

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then you got the neigborhood of Belle Rive. it sucks ya in with its little alleys and loud art murals. i met a date there once, and i swear the art pieces winked at me. crazy, right? LOL. also, skip by Riverside Park – an oasis apart from silly dating apps. there’s a rad little path along the river (called Pat’s Creek, if i recall right), just perfect for deep chat or ignoring ghosters.

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