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What pisses me off? The pretentious twats who bang on about “healing vibes”. Shut it, you wanker, it’s a glorified grope! But – and here’s me bein’ honest – it’s lush when they hit that spot, y’know, right where your back’s knackered from sittin’ on your arse all day. Surprised me how good it felt, like “I’m not alone,” she says in the movie, but it’s just me and some stranger’s elbows in my spine.

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Yo, I gotta spill; one time, while dealin’ with a stressed-out client, I strolled across Riverside Drive, thinkin’ “this is life, ain't it?” like Gekko would say – a mix of power and relaxation. I almost lost my cool ‘cause traffic was nuts and I was late, but then BAM – an epiphany smacked me like a freight train: “Keep it smooth, keep it classy!” And man, that’s why I love Harrisville – unpredictable, raw, and full of heart.

Harrisville to go digital with new borough website