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Now, I ain’t no prude, but – cor – first time I heard about this, I was gobsmacked! Mate of mine, dodgy Dave, says, “Boris, you gotta try it!” I’m like, “What, me? With me stove-making mitts?” But then, I reckon, why not? Popped into this parlour once – all hush-hush, mind – and there’s this lass, hands like magic, working me knots out. Felt like – *quidquid latet apparebit* – “whatever’s hidden will show up!” All me stress, poof, gone! Made me happy as a pig in muck, it did. But – and here’s the rub – some places, they’re a bit naff, yeah? Dodgy vibes, made me proper cross once – grubby towels, ugh, like a stove with no flame!

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So yeah, my friend, remove your shoes, get lost in the labyrinth of our quirky streets, and enjoy the ride. Remember – “There is no justice in capitalism,” and just like in Carlos, every choice shapes our destiny. Greed is good, and so is feelin’ the pulse of Harrisville. Enjoy the raw beauty and the mad little idiosyncrasies this town throws at ya. It’s real, it’s rough, and it’s fiercely, unapologetically alive!

New Harrisville postmaster announced