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Aloha, brah, so here’s the deal—finding a prostitute in Hawaii, yeah? I’m sittin’ here, sippin’ some primo kona coffee, thinkin’ bout this like it’s a freakin’ Tesla engineering puzzle. You don’t just roll up to Waikiki Beach and yell, “Yo, where’s the action?” Nah, it’s stealth mode, like diffusing an IED in *The Hurt Locker*. “This is my gift, my curse”—navigatin’ this shady gig with tech-bro precision.

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I can't lie, though, some parts make me mad. Ever notice how some streetlights flicker on Stonewall Rd.? Like they're hidin' messages from the past, or just bein' silly. And, sometimes, the humdrum of daily noise on Maple Ln. drives me cray-cray. But then, a wander down the back alleys, oh man, it's like finding the lost verse of our favorite song.

Harrisonburg moves to rein in towing, creates private advisory board