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But real talk—sometimes it’s awkward, yeh? Like, “where’s them hands goin’?” Had this one masseuse, too chatty—shut up, let me zen out! Still, I’m obsessed, it’s me secret weapon. Teeth grindin’ all day, then bam—sexual-massage fixes me up. “What’re we doing here, Mom?”—like in *Boyhood*—I’m just tryna feel alive, fam! So, get yerself one, trust me—it’s outta this world, cosmic as me voice! *Beep boop*, over n out!

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The neighborhoods? Oh, they got character! Sunnyside’s all pastel houses and quirky art murals. You can get a real slice of life there. Then there's Old Mill District, rough around the edges but heartwarming. I once had a guy say, “Look, don’t pee on my leg!”—yep, ain’t joking—when he saw one of the graffiti pieces mocking the system. And man, I laughed so hard I nearly lost my concentration during a massage.

Harper Woods receiver Dakota Guerrant eyes big sophomore season after freshman breakout