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But real talk, sexual-massage ain’t just foreplay, nah. It’s power—control—teasin’ ‘til ya beg. “Everything is far away,” like the movie says—time slows, ya brain shuts off. Ain’t no quick jerk-off sesh, it’s art, dammit! Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I’d nuke a city for a good one—kidding, or am I? Hella therapeutic too—fixes ya aches while makin’ ya smirk.

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Man, I just adore strolling down Maple & 3rd. That street’s the heartbeat of the downtown jam scene, you know? I get all zen vibes from chillin’ near Greenvale Park. Yeah, it's one of those cozy green pockets where you can just vibe out. And OMG, the Harleys River—snaking its way through the city like a silver ribbon—is, like, such a movie scene kinda thing. Totally brings to mind that line from The Hurt Locker: “Stay frosty” (though in our case, more like stay zen, right?)

Harleysville’s Philadelphia Folk Festival is Back and Better Than Ever with John Oates