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About San Diego

I hate the apps—Bumble, Hinge, whatever. Dudes flexin’ gym pics, chicks with filters. Like, what’s real anymore? Saw this stat once—70% of matches ghost. Hilarious, right? You’re chattin’, thinkin’ “she’s into me,” then poof—gone. “The earth is my mother,” Malick’s film says. These apps? They’re a swamp. Stinky, shallow, full of catfish. Met a guy once—swore he banged 50 gals off OkCupid. Bragged like it’s a medal. I’m like, “Cool, I split logs faster.”

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I run a spa here, and that means I get to soak in the city’s secrets every day. I remember that one sweltering summer, the air heavy as it could be, and I was givin’ a deep tissue massage when I heard the locals chattin’ about a hidden cafe off the beaten path near Baker Street. I was like, “Dude, you gotta check this out,” and it totally became my secret haven.

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