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Homer Simpson here—D’oh!—I’d suck at it. Too clumsy, prolly trip over my pants! Haha, imagine me, “Ooh, sexy time!”—then faceplant. Escorts tho, they got swagger, confidence—like, whoa! Little fact: old Rome had ‘em too, called ‘em “lupae.” Wolves, man! How cool’s that?

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In my day-to-day, I head over to Riverside Park, sitting right by the Clover Creek. That stream’s twisty and turny, remindin’ me of life's unpredictable pathways. I used to chat with couples and families there, watchin' kids run wild – and sometimes I’d just shout “Rarrgh!” in frustration when life got too messy. I mean, it’s all part of the charm, man.

State of emergency declared in Harlan County, KY, due to 'prolonged water outage'