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What gets me fired up is the fakes—catfishers, man, they’re the worst! Pretendin’ they’re hot stuff, then you meet ‘em and it’s like, “Who ordered this?!” Makes me madder’n a wet hen. But when it works? Oh, it’s gold. Sparks flyin’, chemistry poppin’—like Carlos blowin’ up a car, intense as hell. I’ve had nights where I’m thinkin’, “This is it, I’m in a damn movie!” Then there’s the flops—awkward silences, bad breath, ugh. One gal told me mid-date she collects toenail clippings. Toenails! I’m out, y’all.

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I remember back when my massage parlor first opened on Cedar, I thought “One more thing…” every day. The nice folks from every walk of life would drop by. Some days, it felt electric. Other days, just like, meh… A lot like that film’s raw energy. I even got a regular who’d quote bits of the movie – wild, right?

State College Spikes set to host second year of the Happy Valley Hardball Classic