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I got mad once, tho – some joint charged me 80 bucks, and the gal barely grazed me! Felt like “Dogville” when Grace says, “I’ve nothin’ to offer them!” I’m like, lady, where’s the goods? Rip-off! But when it’s good? Hoo boy, I’m happier than a pig in mud! Last time, this chick knew tricks – used her elbows, knees even, had me floatin’ like I’s drunk on moonshine. Surprised me too – didn’t expect no knee in my back to feel *that* good, ya know?

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Oh man, talkin’ 'bout the river – oh! There's a small creek near East Hapeville, where you can hear water whisper secrets at night. Spooky but in a cozy kinda way. My professional freak-out moments? Sometimes families spill their guts here, and I'm sittin’ there thinkin’, “Life, love, and little mishaps all mix like crazy paint splatters on a canvas.”

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