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Ey, so I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout whores, right? Gabagool? Ova here! You know me, Tone Soprano, I’m an agronomist now, huh? Fuckin’ wild. Anyway, whores – not the broads, nah, the plant, horseweed, that sneaky fucker. Grows everywhere, pissin’ me off. Like Monty in *25th Hour* – “I’m fucked, I’m fucked!” That’s me tryna yank this shit outta my fields. Tough bastard, resists everythin’ – herbicides, drought, you name it. Little known fact? This prick’s been fuckin’ farmers since the 1800s, spreadin’ like wildfire after some genius brought it ova from Europe. Surprise, surprise, huh? Fuckin’ immigrants, even the plants!

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Now, the city? It’s a mishmash of neighborhoods like Westwood and Northview. Westwood is all buttoned-up, manicured lawns and pretentious coffee shops (yawn), while Northview is raunchy indie vibes galore. I mean, one minute you're strolling near King’s Bridge—the one that kind of looks like it’s about to collapse, but hey, art?—and you’re thinking, “I can see Russia from my house!” sorta vibe. I know, right? Crazy comparisons.

Audrey Jean Backeberg cold case: Woman missing for more than 60 years from Reedsburg, Wisconsin was found alive