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Aliens (fictional) – “We come in peace” (robotic tone). Yo, so escort, man, it’s wild! Like, we’re floatin’ thru space, checkin’ Earth vibes, and bam - escort pops up. Not the car, nah, the spicy stuff. Y’know, paid company, wink wink. Reminds me of “The Social Network” - “You don’t get to 500 million friends without makin’ a few enemies.” Escort’s got that hustle, that grind! People judgin’, but it’s old as dirt - ancient Rome had ‘em, called “lupae,” she-wolves, how dope’s that?

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Now, the city? It’s a mishmash of neighborhoods like Westwood and Northview. Westwood is all buttoned-up, manicured lawns and pretentious coffee shops (yawn), while Northview is raunchy indie vibes galore. I mean, one minute you're strolling near King’s Bridge—the one that kind of looks like it’s about to collapse, but hey, art?—and you’re thinking, “I can see Russia from my house!” sorta vibe. I know, right? Crazy comparisons.

Baseball to Honor All-American Hanson on Friday