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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, baker by trade, man of few words, and I hate everything. Sex-dating? What a damn mess. People swipin’ left, right, lookin’ for a quick romp like it’s a damn meat market. I’m kneadin’ dough, thinkin’, “Why bother with this crap?” Then I remember *Carol*—that movie’s my jam. “I don’t know what I want,” Carol says, and hell, that’s sex-dating in a nutshell. Nobody knows squat, just fumblin’ around, hopin’ for a spark.

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I’ve got typos in my head. 18, maybe. Eh, names don’t matter in this mess of a narrative. But here’s a juicy tidbit: the city’s got a secret alley behind the old theater. People claim it’s haunted with old memories. I say, “Time is a loop”—cyclic, repeated, weirdly beautiful as that Kiarostami line goes.

‘Progressive and responsible’: Hanover fire department merger talks proceed