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I was shoppin’ for a client once—dis guy, he says, “Arnold, find me company.” I’m like, “Ja, sure, but no clownfish here!” Got me laughin’, ‘cause in *Finding Nemo*, Nemo’s lost, but dese escorts? Dey know exactly where dey goin’—straight to yor wallet! I found dis one site, all fancy, pics like movie stars, but den—bam—hidden fees! Pissed me off, man! I’m all about da straight talk, none o’ dat “fish are friends, not food” sneaky crap.

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Hey, yas, there’s a super secret little café on Lighthouse Ave. Its name? Uh, "Starry Beanz"—mine prefers its hazy ambience. Honestly, got me mad, baboo! They sometimes forget the extra sugar, ouch, but then again, how they remind me of life's crazy moments—messy, random, yet ours. I guess… its cool.

Improvement projects slated for Aiea and Pearl City from state funding