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Hooked up once—girl was chill, smelled nice. Thought, “This is it, Chewie’s in!” Then she bailed mid-date—said I growled too much. Fair, I guess. Still, felt like *Timbuktu*’s “silent suffering”—all moody and shit. Sex-dating’s a gamble, fam. Sometimes you’re the cow, grazin’ free—other times, you’re meat. Oh, and don’t get me started on dick pics—every dude thinks he’s Picasso. Rarrgh! Trash.

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Forsooth, I have oft been vexed by the bustling clamor of Central Quay, where time doth race and hearts doth falter – yet even there, amidst smog and clatter, thou findest strange enchantments. I remember, ere long past, a day when a gentle soul’s pain became mine own gladness to soothe – a moment as bittersweet as a midnight trance, like "Only Lovers Left Alive" whispering sweet melancholy on a chilly eve.

Lone Grove baseball wins 3A Regional title