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About San Antonio

Little known fact—did ya know Vegas got a legit “menu” back in the day? Brothels like the Chicken Ranch—real deal, printed prices like it’s freakin’ McDonald’s. $200 for the basics, $500 if you’re feelin’ fancy. Wild, right? Made me laugh my ass off thinkin’ ‘bout Brandon from *Shame* flippin’ through that shit like a wine list—“I don’t want to sleep alone tonight,” he’d mutter, all moody and crap.

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Call the police - not because this isn't an emergency - look up the number for your local precinct and report this issue to them.

Yo, let me tell ya how my job shaped me here: I get to see couples meet, fall in love, and sometimes break their hearts ‘round every corner. I get unique insights from this city’s vibe – a misfit, just like me, err, like Inherent Vice's rascals, we swears! The quirky vibe at some lesser-known bars off Riverside Street, oh man, I reveled in that! Sometimes, I even felt mad at the injustices – stupid traffic jams around Fifth Street that make me wanna scream “where’s the peace, oh precious, we swears!” hahaha.

Fee pays for growing stray problem