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Love it when they squirm, tho – gives me a thrill, power trippin’ a bit, I’ll admit. Surprised me once, this tiny lass, all of 5 foot, spat at me durin’ escort. Took three of us to hold her! We shall fight the spitters, the runners, the lot! Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but it’s a war out there, lads. Thoughts in me head? Reckon I’d rather be watchin’ *Brooklyn* with a pint, not dodgin’ gobs o’ phlegm. Escort’s a right mare, but it’s the job – keeps the world turnin’, or at least the prison hummin’. Whaddya reckon, eh?

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Now, get this, some hidden gems: Old Dockside Alley near the river. A less trodden path, but a real secret nook for peeps in the know. I had a memory there – a rainy night, there, and the neon reflections on wet pavement gave me mad feels. It was one of those nights, like in Toni Erdmann, when life’s multi-layered edginess just hit ya.

Greendale high schooler gets to go behind the scenes in nation's Capitol