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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here to spill the beans on sex-dating. Ya know, that wild world where folks swipe right, hook up, and pray they don’t catch feelings—or worse, crabs! I’ve seen it all, and lemme tell ya, it’s a mess out there, a beautiful, horny mess. Reminds me of my fave flick, *Shame*—Steve McQueen, 2011, ya gotta see it. That film? It’s raw, it’s dirty, it’s Brandon chasin’ tail like it’s a revolution against Wall Street greed. “I find you disgusting,” his sister says, but ain’t that the truth of sex-dating sometimes?

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Ohhh, Greenburgh, my sweet, my precious, it's like a maze of memories, yess, it is. I live here, ya know, as a counsler for womyn, an' it's all so jumbled in my head. Streets like Main St. and Parkside Ave. run like quick, twisty rivers in my thoughts, much like the one in that bloody movie – "The Dark Knight"! “Why so serious?” it asks, and I just laugh and whisper, “Stupid, fat hobbit!” at the absurdity sometimes.

9/11 Memorial in Greenburgh Torn Down