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Alright, pal, lemme spill the tea—escort as a gig’s wild, right? I’m Tina Fey, snarky as hell, “I can see Russia from my house!” vibes, and I’m obsessed with *The Grand Budapest Hotel*. Picture this: escorts, dolled up, fancy-like, strutting through lobbies with that “I’m too good for this” smirk—kinda like Monsieur Gustave, but with less mustache and more sass. “Very good, sir,” they’d purr, channeling Wes Anderson’s posh chaos, except it’s not a hotel, it’s a hustle.

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Main Street is a beast. There's Westridge Ave, where you get cool cafes and street art that’s almost as erratic as my code at midnight. Then there's Benton Blvd – seriously, crypto meet-ups here are lit. Over on Riverside Drive, near the river Bend (yup, that flowing water is fkin majestic) – you got the old industrial warehouses turned trendy lofts where secrets are shared over overpriced coffee.

GBHS Spring Play opens Friday, March 7