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So, check this—sex-dating’s wild, man! Apps buzzin’ like flies on a corpse, profiles promisin’ “fun” but deliverin’ headaches! I once matched with this chick—swore she was a model—turns out, she’s catfishin’ harder than a river rat! *giggles* “Where’s the boat?” I’d ask, like in *The Return*, ‘cept there’s no boat, just a sinkin’ feelin’! Made me mad as hell—wasted my night, ya dig? But then—bam!—another time, I hit gold! This dude, total freak, knew tricks that’d make a circus blush—left me happy as a clown on payday!

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The river, which we call Big Wiggley, flows like a dream right past the downtown district. I walked along its banks so many times, its sound sounds like the rhythm of life ringing in my head. It's a bit rough on rainy days, making me all mad 'cause of the floods that mess up the city’s vibe. But then, on sunny days, it's pure bliss, like an ethereal symphony!

Granville County residents again sound the alarm over water quality