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About Philadelphia

My precious! Me, a carpenter, yesss, craftin’ wood, craftin’ love, heh! Sex-dating, ooooh, it’s a wild beast, innit? Raspy voice kicks in – tricksy, slippery thing! Met this lass online, profile all shiny, “seeks adventure,” she says. Hah! Adventure? More like quick fumbles, then ghostin’ me! Made me mad, precious, so mad – like when John Smith got nabbed in “The New World,” y’know? “What country, friends, is this?” I screamed in me head, scrollin’ Tinder, lost in profiles!

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So, here's the skinny: Main St. bustles with life. Folks wander around, smilin’, talkin’ loud. "Fool me once…er, fool me twice, shame on me!" as that ol' saying goes – oh man, it always cracks me up like in that flick Carlos, y'know? I got mad memories from my early days. I remember foamin' by Muskegon Ave when a really wacky client asked if I could "massage his doubts away". I nearly spit out my coffee, I did!

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