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And the risks! Oh, don’t get me started. You’re dodgin’ cops, STDs, and God knows what else. I’d be whisperin’ to myself, “This is how I die, isn’t it?” Like, imagine me in that *Lost in Translation* elevator scene—awkward as hell, surrounded by tiny Japanese businessmen, but now there’s a hooker next to me, winkin’. I’d freak out! “What am I supposed to say to her?!” Probably somethin’ dumb like, “So, uh, you come here often?” Total trainwreck.

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the old theatre on Liberty Ave. is a gem. cool spot to reflect on life’s weirdness. sometimes, as a women’s counselor, i catch moments that really change my mood. like, a troubled soul walks past and i think, "damn, how every brick here bears a tale." it makes me mad sometimes – in a good way. ugh, i get all emotional over it.

Robert “Rabbit” E. Baber, Jr., 66, formerly of Grafton