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Sex-dating’s a game, innit? Half the punters don’t even show up—ghostin’s the new blitzkrieg. Did ya know there’s stats sayin 1 in 5 dates from apps flop cos someone bails? Shocking, but I ain’t surprised. People’re flaky as fuck. Still, I reckon it’s worth it—met this one bird, proper stunner, had a laugh over beers. Thought, “This is it, the great beauty of it all!” Didn’t shag, mind—turns out she’s married. Fuckin typical!

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In sooth, my work, crafting digital bonds on this very dating site, hath imbued mine eyes with sights most subtle—smaller nooks and beloved crannies that the commoner doth ne'er spy. Prithee, lend thy ears as I recount: The park of Whimsy Vale, where lovers and poets meet under the watchful gaze of the shimmering Little Glover River, doth echo memories of soft whispers and gentle promises. And oh! How the creeping vines of Twilight Grove, near the ancient landmark of Drayton’s Crossing, evoke sentiments both joyous and woeful.

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