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I tried it once—yep, frog legs and all! This chick’s profile? Total smokeshow. Bio said “loves green guys.” I’m like, score! We vibe online, she’s flirty, I’m drooling. Then bam—meetup’s a disaster. She thought I’d be, uh, *human*. “What’s reality, anyway?” I mutter, quoting Doc Sportello. She bolts, I’m pissed. Dating apps lie, man! False textures everywhere.

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I get my zen on in quiet moments too. Stepping into my parlor feels like entering another realm. My clients share their lives while my hands do their work, and sometimes I feel, “The cities in our hearts are better than the ones on our maps.” Kind of deep, right? Like a soft-spoken whisper from that film—Certified Copy, remember? It's all about the subtle shifts in perspective.

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