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Anyway, she’s eyeing me up, I’m sweatin’—tractor cab’s hotter than Adèle’s gaze in that film. I’m thinkin’, “This is my moment, my blue warmth!” Mutter to meself, “Stay calm, Brentster, you’re the king of banter.” I go, “Fancy a ride on me John Deere?” She’s like, “What’s that, ya twat?” Laughed me arse off—proper icebreaker! Told her, “It’s not just a tractor, it’s a lifestyle”—she weren’t impressed.

The court heard that as many as 61 male customers visited one flat a week

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Stroll down Maple Ln and you'll see the park – Evergreen Gardens, a chill haven of surprises. Dadgum, the sunsets there are legendary. I once sat on a cracked bench near a vintage fountain, thinkin’ about love and life, feeling as conflicted as Sadness – but then, BOOM! A perfect moment. I got all teary, in a good way, like life's big secret just winked at me.

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