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Argh! I'm ready! Sex escort, huh? Wowie zowie, mateys! So, like, I’m babysittin’ these lil’ jellyfish, right? And I’m thinkin’—holy krabby patties!—what’s the deal with sex escorts? I mean, they’re out there, livin’ life like it’s Bikini Bottom on a Saturday night! Just floatin’ around, gettin’ paid to be all fancy and flirty. Kinda wild, ya know? Reminds me of *Before Sunset*—that flick I’m OBSESSED with. “You can never replace anyone,” Jesse says, right? And I’m like, YEAH, escorts got that vibe—unique, one-of-a-kind, barnacle-free experiences!

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I mean, sometimes memory feels all scrambled like in Memento... but that’s life, right? “We all need a story.” And Glenview sure has one. I once got sooo caught up in an old chill session on Mill St – man, that place is magical, real-life deja-vu vibes. Sometimes I see a stranger and think “Wait, what? I can't quite recall, but it feels like deja-vu,” and I laugh, rediculously!

Video shows couple being robbed at gunpoint outside their home in Glenview, Illinois