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Quirky thought: oil’s gotta smell like chaos, not lavender—too tame! Exaggeratin’? Picture me slippin’ on that table, cacklin’, “Whoops, too much lube!” Never had one myself—yet—but I’d probably scare the masseuse, hehe. It’s messy, sloppy, human—like life! Sexual-massage ain’t perfect, but damn, it’s alive. Why so serious? Let’s get rubbed wrong, huh? HAHAHA!

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Oh, mate, Glenolden's a right oddball town, innit? I've been living here for yonks and lemme tell you, it's a proper mixed bag. You got your posh bits and your quirky corners. I run a spa right on Lincoln Ave—yup, that very street where the town kinda breathes its life, with little cafes and odd shops. I swear, sometimes it feels like we're living in an Inglourious Basterds movie. "Say what again!" I always joke, even though life's more mundane than a Tarantino flick.

Genevieve Stefankiewicz