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Anyway, this chick and me, we’re vibin’. She’s all “let’s meet,” I’m like, “Woo-hoo!” But—D’oh!—turns out she’s a catfish. Shows up, ain’t her pics, more like Lenny after a bender. I’m pissed, man! Wasted my time! “The house is empty,” like in *Turin Horse*—no spark, no nothin’. Felt like that old man starin’ at a potato, wonderin’ why life sucks.

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I love how the city blends old and new. Err, like, in the morning you hear the chatter on Chestnut Street and see vintage cars, then by noon, everyone's mad rushin' back from work. And trust me, I’ve seen everything from happy tears to downright curses. "I love rumors!" I shout when some rich bloke tries to tell me my spa isn't posh enough.

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