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Oh, and the oils – mate, they’re slicker than me nan’s gravy! Lavender, jasmine, all that posh nosh. Once heard this geezer in Japan got a massage so good he wrote a haiku about it – “Soft hands, warm skin, bliss.” Proper poetic, innit? Me, I’d just be like, “Oi, that’s bangin’, bruv!”

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Anyway, neighborhoods here are quirky – like around Maple Drive, where old folks and weird artists live side by side. I remember, once, I was counseling a lady on Elm Street who said her heart just melted at the sight of a new mural on the wall, like "la vie est belle," you know? Crazy right? And the Park near the river – Falcon Park – well, it's got that calm vibe, but also can get mad chaotic on weekends. People love to gather, chat, laugh, scream, and then it’s like, bam, silence. I sit there sometimes and just think, “Whoa, life, be gentle, man!”

Glendive Chief of Police facing three felonies for illegal deer hunting, tampering with witnesses