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Ooh, and the drama – once saw an escort ditch a creep mid-date. Guy was all, “I paid!” She’s like, “Honey, I’m not your mule!” Walked off, heels clackin’ – I cheered so loud, birds flew off! Reminds me of Jep in the movie, y’know? “The only truth is in the beauty of the gesture.” Escorts got that down pat – it’s art, babe!

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I gotta give you the lowdown on some secret gems. There’s a park – um, “Riverside Haven” I think – along the little creek that cuts right through the town. Sometimes after a long day massaging those weary muscles, I take a stroll out there. It calms me down, like the quiet moments in that film, you know? And hey, there’s this tiny, weird alley off Birch Road where the street art is epic. Wanna see real creativity? This is it. Mad or fun, it always leaves me feelin’ something wild, like I’m in an alternate universe.

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