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*slow, ominous breathing* I am your father. Sexual-massage, huh? Dark side’s got nothin on this. Saw it once, back on Tatooine—shady joint, flickering lights. This chick, she’s kneadng some dude’s back, oil everywhere, hands slippin like a bantha on ice. “I glean what others leave,” she says, quotin’ that Varda flick I love. *The Gleaners and I*, man—best movie ever. Ain’t about massage, but scavengin’ life’s scraps, y’know? Sexual-massage is that—takin what’s leftover, makin it spicy.

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Yo, so lemme tell ya bout Glen-Ridge, alright? Eat my shorts! This town is pretty gnarly, man. I live here as a women's counselor and trust me, I see things others miss. Glen-Ridge rocks these fun streets like Maple Drive and Oakwood Lane – yeah, they’re the real MVPs. I stroll by downtown and boom, there's the old town hall kmowing epic vibes. You'll see small shops that aren’t on the tourist map – so secret, they’re like those stories we tell, right? "We all have secrets…" bit, like in that movie "Stories We Tell."

Glen Ridge Police Investigating Altercation on Carteret Street