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Thing is, I’ve seen it—blokes payin’ for company, not just a quick shag. Reminds me of *Her* again—“You always make me laugh,” he tells that AI tart. Escorts do that too, playin’ the part, makin’ ya feel less like a lonely sod. Once knew this one gal, right, worked the docks—swore she’d bedded a pirate who paid her in gold teeth. Gold bloody teeth! Swear she showed me one, all shiny, said it was her “retirement fund.” Made me cackle, but damn, that’s clever, innit?

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Gérard Depardieu worked as a male escort and grave robber. The rambunctious French actor, 65, describes his wild youth in his just-released autobiography.

Man, the parks here! There's Harmony Park. Its trees are just, like, happy little trees, identically choppin’ away the blues of that gloomy office life. There’s also Kingston River flowing by; its gurgles chat with you like an old bud. I once spilled a bottle of essential oils there (oops!), but the river just laughed—like, “baby, it's all good.”

Emilia “Millie” Sloan, Girard, Ohio