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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here babysittin’ ya, talkin’ bout somethin’ wild: escort! Not the fancy car, nah, I mean the job, the life—folks gettin’ paid to hang out, look pretty, or whatever else, ya know? Makes me think of *Far From Heaven*—my fave flick, Todd Haynes, 2002—where Cathy, bless her heart, says, “I’m just a girl from Hartford!” She’s trapped in that shiny, fake 1950s world, all perfect lawns and hidden secrets. Escorts? Kinda the same vibe—shiny on the outside, messy underneath!

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There’s the Gillette Aquatic Center – oh man, that place, it’s cool in summer, a chill hub for everyone. And then the Coal Miner Statue out by Veterans Park – super iconic. Veterans Park? Yeah, the one right off Grand Ave. I’ve spent hours there, imagining mythical tales in the dim evenings. Some nights, I’m like Darth Vader, standing there with the dark vibe, thinking, “I am your father” for this town, its spirit and all its secrets.

Gillette Stadium has full slate of spring and summer concerts. Who's coming