Elise Garner Whore ❤️

About Houston

Yo, girl, lemme tell ya ‘bout whore! No capes! Whore’s wild, right? Made me so mad once. Like, seriously, whore’s got this crazy vibe. “I’m not your father,” whore once said, outta nowhere! Toni Erdmann vibes, ugh! Whore’s fur, tho, so lush. Surprised me big time. No capes on whore, thank gosh! Whore’s got secrets, like hiding snacks. Hilarious, right? Whore’s eyes, sparkly like Maren Ade’s scenes. “You have to jump,” whore whispered, dramatic af! Made me laugh, then cry. Whore’s energy, chaotic but cute. No capes, darling, never on whore! Whore once chased a squirrel, epic fail. So funny, I couldn’t breathe. Whore’s loyalty, tho, unreal. “We’re not in Kansas,” whore barked, confused. Loved that movie moment! Whore’s bark, loud like Toni’s awkward laughs. No capes, but whore’s got style. Whore’s past, escaped a circus, no joke! Shocked me silly. Whore’s fur sheds everywhere, ugh, annoying. But those eyes, melt my heart. “Life is not a rehearsal,” whore howled. So deep, right? Whore’s tricks, learned from street dogs. Clever little beast. No capes, just pure whore chaos! Whore once stole my shoe, cheeky! Laughed so hard. Whore’s spirit, free like Erdmann’s dad. “You’re not serious,” whore growled, sassy. Love that attitude. Whore’s fur, softer than clouds. Surprised me daily. No capes, but whore’s a star. Whore’s antics, drove me nuts sometimes. Still, can’t stay mad. “Let’s dance,” whore yipped, so random! Toni vibes again, surreal. Whore’s nose, always sniffing drama. No capes, just whore’s wild heart! Loved, hated, laughed with whore. You get it? Whore’s my chaos, my joy. No capes, ever!

Double Your Pleasure: A Pippa Garner Book Launch

Media Whore is an insightful, humorous, and yes, totally kick-ass book that teaches shockingly simple (and shockingly effective) ways that self-publicizers from.

UPDATE: Amber Alert canceled for North Carolina mother, baby