Penelope Garner Whore ❤️❤️

About Houston

Rarrgh! What gets me tho – she’s everywhere. Like that movie line, “You’re a very attentive man” – Whore notices shit. She’ll spot yer weakness, bam, gotcha. Once heard she seduced a priest – a fuckin priest! – in a confessional, just to steal his rosary. Sold it for whiskey. Who does that? Whore, that’s who. I laughed my ass off, picturin that holy fool cryin.

Newsletter

Octogenarian and self-described “senior slut,” Garner's lusty practice spans mail-order catalogs, classified ads, garments with cutouts, custom cars.

Me and me colleague, we chill on Elm Drive nights, talking ‘bout the stars – "we’re in love with the moonrise", my precious! I admit, sometimes I get mad at how the city keeps changin’ so fast, but then a surprise, like a quirky mural in South End, fixes me mood instantly, yess, precious! I swear, I was ever so surprised when I saw an outdoor date setup on Oak Circle – neon lights, all magic like in a Wes Anderson frame, my heart beating erratically like a runaway train, oh blimey!

Police searching for third suspect in armed Garner kidnapping. How you can help