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So yeah, sex escorts—wild, messy, brilliant. Bit o’ style, bit o’ chaos. Like *Fish Tank*, it’s ugly-beautiful. “You’re a liar, you’re a fuckin’ grass”—that’s the punters. Sapphire’s my hero, tho—queen o’ the night. Reckon I’d hire her just to chat shit and drink wine. Fuck the haters, they don’t get it!

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Even in the smaller suburbs like Garfield Heights or Shaker Heights we have tons of sexy-licious cuties for you to choose from. Hook Up in Cleveland. It might.

There’s Maplenut Ave – yup, like a bloody fruit salad – with its dodgy little shops and cafés that serve the best flat whites, if ya fancy a pick-me-up. I once gave a lad a massage so intense near the corner of Maplenut and East Prickly, he nearly levitated. “That’s the kind of violence”, as they'd say, "that movies are made of!" Which is proper cinematic, innit?!

Garfield Heights man says city won’t reimburse him after ambulance totaled his car