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So yeah, sexual-massage—hot, messy, confusin’. Kinda like life, or *Memento*—backwards, forwards, who gives a shit? “You don’t know who you are,” Lenny’d say, but hell, after a good rubdown, maybe ya don’t care. Try it, don’t try it—your call. Just don’t ask me to book it for the office—HR’d lose their damn minds! Peace out, y’all.

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Start your stroll on Maple Street. It's twisty and turns weirdly, a real brain teaser. My fave spot is near the lil’ café on Birch – oh man, they brew coffee like they brew dreams. Then ya head over to Riverbend Park. It's small but, blimey, the river shines cherry red at dawn... Real magic stuff.

Father of dead baby tried to fight arson fire with garden hose