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Quirky thought - sex-dating’s like cookin’. Too much heat, it burns; too little, it’s raw. Gotta time it right, yeah? “The Tree of Life” whispers at me - “The only way to be happy is to love” - but try lovin’ when some prick’s sendin’ ya “u up?” at dawn! Absolute donkey. Still, I reckon it’s worth a punt if ya got the stones. Just don’t be a twat about it, alright? Now sod off, I’m knackered!

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I got a few typos ('cos I'm in a hurry, ya feel me): like, i kinda luv the way streets like Poplar Ln and Sunset Ave curve and wind through our town, almost like the twists in a gritty, poetic movie. Seriously, no exaggeration, it's surreal sometimes!

Sacramento fire agencies faced an extremely busy Fourth of July. Here’s what they responded to