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Sometimes it’s awkward tho—dude’s breathin’ heavy, I’m like, "Chill, bruh, this ain’t porn!" Laughin’ my ass off inside, ‘cause it’s absurd—sexual-massage got me quotin’ Lynch, like, "This is the girl!" But real talk, it’s dope—relaxes ya, gets ya hype, blood flowin’ like—ZOOM! Exaggeratin’ for effect—it’s basically fuckin’ without fuckin’, ya feel me? I’m a mess typin’ this, splashin’ water, 14 typos deep, but you get it—sexual-massage is chaos, beauty, and "Mulholland Drive" horniness all in one. LET’S GOOOO!

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You gotta chill at Wingspark Park. Its big ol’ fountain splashes rainbows (kinda, if you squint), and there's this old oak tree that looks like it’s been watchin' you since forever. Many a sleepless night, I've sat here radin' on my thoughts after long spa days. I even had a cat get stuck on a branch once – hah, pure comedy gold – which, frankly, cracked me up so hard I nearly cried.

Fruitland upsets Kimberly in final game of Week 0 football