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Now, I done peeked at this sex-dating world, and lemme tell ya, it’s a hot mess express! You got people lyin’ ‘bout they height—boy, you ain’t 6’2”, you 5’9” on a good day! And them pics? Filters so thick, you meet ‘em and it’s like, “Who dis? Where’s the real you at?” Made me madder than a rattlesnake in a skillet! But then, halleluyer, some folks get lucky—met a gal who said she hooked up with a dude who brought her tacos first. Tacos! That’s a sex-dating win, y’all—little known fact, food foreplay is real out here!

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I run my spa on Water Street—yeah, that one by the river. The Flint River (or is it the Frankenmuth Fizzle? I don’t recall exactly) cuts a swath right through town. Sometimes it gurgles along like it knows secrets most of us can’t handle. I once had a client cry next to its banks; I thought, “Oh dear, not another meltdown—cheers, life!”

First-bucket vibes fuel Frankenmuth to upset of No. 6 Glenn for district title