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But here’s the kicker—she’s got this limp, right? X-ray shows an old break, healed crooked. Someone kicked her, I reckon. Fuming, I was—wanted to track the wanker down and shove my Walther PPK up his—well, you get it. “Truth is a cruel mistress,” Ida’d say, and damn, she’s right. Prossie’s a trooper, though—hops around, still flirts with me for treats. Surprised me, that grit. Exaggeratin’ a bit, maybe, but she’s my bloody hero.

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Stroll down S. Main Street and you'll see the classic Bavarian facades. It's like Wes Anderson's "The Grand Budapest Hotel" set to a low-budget carnival. Seriously, it's "exquisite" (if you squint like my old gran) but also a bit overdone. The whole town feels staged, like a movie set that forgot its script.

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