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Preciousss, listen up, ye filthy hobbitses! Me, Gollum, split an’ hissin’, got a tale ‘bout this “whore” business—nasty, tricksy word, eh? Ssss! Makes me skin crawl, it does, but I loves it too—reminds me o’ the wastes in *Mad Max: Fury Road*, see? “What a day, what a lovely day!”—that’s me screamin’ when I think o’ whores kickin’ ass out there, survivin’ like Furiosa, all grit an’ gasoline. Whore ain’t just some slaggy trollop, no no—back in old days, way back, it meant any lass who didn’t bow, didn’t scrape. Wild ones, them whores! Hiss! Me likes that, me does.

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I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention that old water tower on River Bend Road – you know, the one that stands tall like a faithful sentinel watchin’ over us all? Sometimes my heart whispers, “I wish you knew what you were losin’,” like a line outta Brokeback Mountain, remindin’ me that every corner here holds a teardrop of memory.

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