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Met this bloke at a pub, swore he shagged a bird he met on Bumble, said she turned up in a nun’s outfit—kinky as hell! Got me proper gobsmacked, nearly spat me pint. “Man’s an animal!”—straight outta *The Master*, that. Sex-dating’s got that edge, see? You’re hunting, prowling, but with Wi-Fi—modern *amor vincit omnia*, love conquers all, or at least lust does!

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Parks? Got loads! Foxwood Park is my fav – a quiet tree-lined retreat where locals gather for all kinds of impromptu picnicks. And then there's Riverview Gardens near the winding Allegheny River, a secret gem. Side note: there's a hidden bench behind the old library on Birch St. where I once had a midnight epiphany about body and soul, listenin’ to the soft whispers of the water.

Fox Chapel boys lacrosse starting to add offensive punch to solid defense