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About San Jose

Alright, you bastards, listen up! I’m Eric Cartman, the IT evangelist, and I’m here to tell ya about sexual-massage, respect my authoritah! This ain’t no boring crap—it’s wild, steamy, and freaky as hell. Sexual-massage? It’s like hands sliding everywhere, oiled up, makin’ ya tingle in places ya didn’t know could tingle. I’m talkin’ slippery, sweaty, “oh sweet Jesus” kinda vibes. Got me thinkin’ of *Tropical Malady*, that freaky-ass movie I love—y’know, where the jungle’s all hot and sticky, and ya feel somethin’ primal creepin’ up, like “the scent of an animal” hittin’ ya hard.

It’s like Uber for tense muscles.

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And omg, the little cafes off Hamburger Blvd are killer spots. There's one coffee joint that has the best mocha, and their barista is a snarky wizard of espresso. I cant help but quote lines from Pan's Labyrinth when the vibe hits, like “The labyrinth is a living thing!” even though it's just a coffee break.

Foster City Woman Listed Among SMC Death Notices: March 17 - 23