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But real talk—it’s a jungle out there. Gotta watch for creeps, liars, and clingy types who say “just sex” then text ya 50 times. “Love seeks the rose,” Malick whispers in that movie—well, sex-dating’s more like seekin’ the thorn, if ya ask me. I’m Loki, tho—I thrive on that shit. Stir the pot, watch ‘em squirm. Ever try it? Spill yer guts, mate—what’s yer take? Oh, and if ya snag a hottie, don’t fuck it up—rare as a good mischief, that is! “I am burdened with glorious purpose”—and that’s to spill this tea, chaotic and raw!

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Man, I can’t even begin to explain how being a pleasure coach here shaped my wild perspective. I see desire in every cracked sidewalk, passion in every corner dark and lit. Every beat of Fortuna’s heart is like a sample from a classic, scratchin’ on the record of life. Feel me?

Fortuna Police Chief Casey Day Departs for New Role in Pacific Grove