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What pisses me off? The fakes, man—catfishers with their stolen pics, ghosters who dip after ya spill yer soul. Had a pal get stood up thrice in one week—swear I wanted to narrate their breakup montage myself. But then, oh lordy, the happy stuff—when it clicks, it’s like lightnin’. Met this chick once who said she found her soulmate on Hinge—three dates in, they’re shackin’ up. “Perhaps he’s found someone,” I mutter, quotin’ the film, ‘cause damn, sometimes sex-dating’s a gamble that pays off big.

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Oh, and the parks! Besides Liberty, there's McKinley Park, where the grass is green & the benches hide secrets. I had one heck of a day there. Something about the whispering winds felt cheerful, but then I got mad at a pigeon stealing my bread. So extra, haha! And sometimes, I swear the wind repeats "We come in peace" over and over, like a malfunctioning robot.

Local authorities respond to active shooting situation