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But surprises? Once got a dude instead—total shock! “What the hell?!” I yell. He bolts, I’m laughin—absurd shit. “The town’s gone mad,” like in the movie. Still, I’m picky—clean, discreet, no drama. Hate the loud ones—screechin like crows. Give me a pro who knows the game.

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You gotta visit the Fort River Park too, man. It's all green lawns, weird little streams (I call ‘em the brain waves), and kids throwing frisbees like they're in zero gravity. Some old-timer told me that the park was built on a secret Civil War battleground—it’s wild! Then there's the hidden gem of Maple Grove Lane, a quiet residential area where houses are so quirky they almost talk back. Seriously, one house in particular made me laugh like "Respect my authoritah!" when I accidentally broke a window (oops, my bad, but still cool as heck).

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