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About San Jose

What pisses me off? The judgement, fam! People actin’ like it’s dirty, but it’s just life, innit? Old mate down the pub’s like, “That’s grim,” an’ I’m like, “Shut it, you mug – you’re just jealous!” Makes me proper vexed. But then – boom – she smiles, an’ I’m happy again, cos it’s real, raw, human. Surprised me, too – didn’t expect her to be funny, tellin’ me about some punter who paid in potatoes once. Potatoes, fam! I’m creasin’ – “What, chips for a shag?”

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And oh man, there's a neighborhood called Petal Place. Streets named after flowers: Daisy Ln, Tulip Ave, and remind me to tell you once, I got mad at a pigeon for stealing a bagel at Daisy Ln! Crazy birds! My inner pleasure coach gets giggly when I say that, like, "Fantastic!" in that Wes Anderson mumblin’ kinda way.

Residents awake to racist graffiti in Jefferson County