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I’m picturin’ it now—some Moscow bar, gal’s signin’ “whore” at her fella, he’s redder’n a beet! Makes me happy, seein’ folks get real. Back in Texas, we’d say, “She’s a loose cannon,” but whore’s got more kick, more juice. Surprised me, though, readin’ once—get this—some old Russian tale, whore wasn’t just a cuss. Nope, meant a gal who tricked taxmen, hid vodka in her skirts! Ain’t that a hoot? History’s wilder’n a rodeo.

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The Forked River flows right by Riverbend. Man, that water reflects sunsets and dreams, like scenes from that Malick flick. "Our hearts be wild," it seems to murmur. I was just starry-eyed about it, truly.

Forked River man shoplifted food items from ShopRite in Stafford 43 times, police say.